Here's a scenario which occurred for me at 2am last night, which relays my insecurities about my "mental processing speed" (let me know if you relate)...
I woke up around midnight feeling hungry, so I went to the kitchen to look for something to eat. Being that I wasn't satisfied with the contents of the fridge, I drove to the nearest 24-hour Safeway.
I walked in, picked up some milk, English muffins, & brownies. The store was nearly empty, so there was no one available to ring me up at the cash register.
I found the nearest employee stocking items on the shelf, and she came over to ring up my items. I noticed she moved quickly, was cheerful, but didn't engage me. She had blue & pink streaks of color in her black hair, brightly colored manicured nails, a nose piercing, and some other facial piercing. I thought it was odd that she seemed so cheerful at 2am, but then I figured that she was probably more a routine night person.
A couple in what looked like their 30's, came up behind me with some grocery items. They were wearing t-shirts, so I figured they were recently at home lounging around. I myself was quiet, serious, and observant.
Upon the arrival of this couple, the cashier girl picked up the, what's it called, walkie thing at grocery stores (where when you talk into it, whatever you say can be heard on speakers all over the store? the way an employee might locate a kid's missing mother in the grocery store, you know what I mean? I'm must going to call it a "walkie-thing-which-communicates-to-a
So upon the arrival of this couple, the cashier girl picked up the "walkie-thing-which-communicates-to-a
My first thought was, 'Okay, this is one of my oblivious moments.' I tried to calm myself from self-criticism, and was able to recall what was funny.
The cashier girl had said, jokingly, "Hurry up and buy!" and hung the "walkie-thing-which-communicates-to-a
I only got around to laughing at the realization of this humor, a full three minutes or so, when I was already walking out the door. The couple behind me had laughed, immediately.
Here are my theories about why this happened (with me): I think I shut down in terms of processing external information when I become intimidated by my ability (or lack of) to interpret the information, in addition to not trusting my own judgments & perceptions. I believe that if I learn to stop being intimidated by information, trust myself through my own perceptions & increased confidence to be able to interpret the information, that I will be able to do so with more ease.
This makes sense for me psychologically, because, I am an individual who was raised as a child with messages such as, "You're not worthwhile, unless you do X, Y, or Z. You're not good enough, so step it up. I love you, but only if you do this. Thinking for yourself is bad, and if you love your mother you will do what I say (I know what's best, you don't)." Therefore, training me to not have confidence in my own eyes, ears, and thoughts (aka my own perceptions). I am working on that.
But, that aside, I'm wondering if it might be an "infj-thing", and one of the infj faults of being less observant of (even obvious) concrete external surroundings. We're always in our heads, breaking down abstracts ideas (or do I speak for myself?).
Do you relate to this, because of a negative history, or because it is an infj-fault? What are your thoughts?
Thank you for your input.